I know these movies are gonna suck but their trailers have made me eager to find out just how much. They did not put no heart into producing these films, not even the trailers. Which brings me to wonder what the fuck are these fucking idiots thinking? Only profits, yeah of course, but do they realise how much lesser they are going to earn with their trailers already exposing how lame their movies are going to be?
Tekken (the movie)
Pros: The actor playing Jin is a pretty boy. Skinny, “cute”, young. Girls that are aged 22 and below are gonna love him.
Cons: Jin is supposed to be a buff Japanese with a weird hairstyle. America has lots of young bodybuilders that cannot act, why choose one that’s skinny? The trailer also indicates a predictable outcome: Mortal Kombat movie-like but worse.
Karate Kid (the remake)
Pros: It is going to appeal to African American kids and Jackie Chan fans that do not know about the original Karate Kid movies.
Cons: Oh come on, seriously? An arrogant-looking black kid (Will Smith’s son) with the Allen Iverson hairstyle, migrates to China, gets bullied by Chinese kids, learns kung fu from a Chinese disgrace, and the movie is titled KARATE Kid? I do not think I even need to talk about racism and the lack of class to emphasize what a joke this film is going to be compared to the original.
And this one. “They live among us.” No, they all live in Hollywood, fuckers.
I think if I watch these movies now, I might enjoy them because my expectation for them is already at the lowest point. But if they turn out to be worse than Street Fighters: The Legend of Chun Li, some people might really commit suicide leaving a note behind telling the Americans to stop remaking classics, stop Americanise Asian films, and stop adapting Animes, Mangas and console games into movies.