The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

(Movie review)

Genre: Teen romance/Female fantasy/and for crying out loud, it ain’t horror!
Director: David Slade
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Anna Kendrick, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dakota Fanning, Elizabeth Reaser, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli.

And so the story continues with the 100 year-old emo virgin vampire proposing to his forever-frowning girlfriend. More vampires are trying to kill Bella this time; Cullens working together with the dogs to fight them off; Edward and Jacob taking turns to protect the undeserving Bella; jealousy issues; stupidity; and blablabla. Why do I even bother?

Everyone knew that I only went to see this because it was for free. And I thought I would enjoy making fun of the show. Unfortunately there wasn’t much. There’re just too much talking, kissing and powder. But anyway, I was sitting in between two girls. So even if there was any scene that I could make fun of, it wouldn’t be a smart thing to do.

I can’t believe people actually like reading this crap. The storyline and dialogues are so lame I could cry. Even the action scenes are not that great. I’m not stereotyping or anything. Despite the intentional humours in the film, I yawned in almost every 5 minutes while watching. However, I have to say that Stephanie Meyer, the author of the novels, was really smart. She knew her target audience and the market very well, and she attacked it with much passion. Two good looking, strong, protective, too good to be true and romantic guys going after a girl who’s not hot or anything. That’s every girl’s fantasy. To make the story seemed more attractive and sophisticated, the cool elements of vampires and werewolves were implemented. Brilliant.

Perhaps Muse’s biggest mistake in their career was letting the Twilight films to use their songs. They also recorded a song called Neutron Star Collision just for Eclipse but it was only used in a short and insignificant scene. But oh well, the song is just as lame as the movie anyway. A lot of people now actually think that Muse came after Twilight and like them because of the film, and not because of their previous achievements. But I don’t think they care anymore, the money comes first.

Verdict: Chick flick beyond chick flick. Horror indeed it was for me. There is no way a dude or a mature girl would like this movie.

Favourite quote: (Spoiler begins from here) “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” Edward referring to Jacob.

Gayest quote: “…. I think I might actually like you” Edward confesses to Jacob. (Spoiler ends here)

What did you learn from the movie? That girls are hornier than guys. The film also teaches you to always lie to your parents when you think they won’t understand.

Team: Alice! She’s damn hot.

Previous posts about Twilight: Here, here and here.

Rating: 1 / 5

Date for the show: Hitomi Ng

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  1. Queen of Babble

    LOL! I agree with you, but I usually just keep my mouth shut where Twilight is concerned because I have SO many friends who are Twihards T_T In order to be considerate towards them, because they don't always like the things I like either.

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