Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013 Top 10 Worst Films of 2013

Tomorrow’s new year’s day and that means it’s that time again when I share my list of Top 10 Worst Movies of the year that I have seen thus far. Only movies officially or globally released this year were considered (meaning, movies of the year 2012 or previous years that were only released in Malaysia in 2013 were not considered as candidates).

As Malaysians, we all should know how some films could take a few months after they’re released elsewhere before the local distributors could bring them over while many more others just never make it to the big screens in Malaysia due to various reasons, so please do not ever consider this list as the most accurate or complete one or the best judgment or anything like that because ONE – even I don’t; TWO – I haven’t seen and don’t intend to watch ALL movies released every year; THREE – the list might be updated in the future if I’ve seen any other movies that deserved to be listed; and FOUR – it’s matter of opinion and everyone has their own preference and point of views on how movies should be judged.

How I judge and rank them to the Top 10 is largely based on my own reviews on the films. I shortlist them before taking the production budget and experience/standards/resources of the country into consideration as well. Which is why it is very possible for a movie with a 0.5/5 rating from me to rank better than one with 2/5. It was difficult indeed to decide which ones get into the top 10 ’cause there were just too much garbage released this year.

Top 10 Worst Films of 2013 released in Malaysia

Well, here you go, starting from number 10 to the champion (local distributor of the film in brackets);

10. Carrie
(Sony Pictures Malaysia)

If Oldboy‘s release in Malaysia wasn’t postponed, I strongly believe that it would’ve in the top 10 here instead of this Carrie adaptation. They’re both very good examples of how Hollywood likes to simply take classics and lazily remake or adapt them into pointless shitty films just for easy cash-ins. Not to mention about how much spoilers its trailers have. Read full review <<<

9. Identity Thief & The Heat
(UIP – United International Pictures & 20th Century Fox)

It’s a tie ’cause they’re both great examples as well, of how Hollywood likes to make formulaic, cheap-humoured comedies with the same cast playing the same kind of role over and over again. Read full review: Identity Thief | The Heat <<<

8. Make Your Move
(GSC Movies)

An indie film that’s slightly worse than typical Hollywood romance dance flicks, featuring the disappointing long awaited big screen debut of the former Korean pop queen Kwon BoA. I bet that it’ll be trashed by even more critics when it opens in the US next year. Read full review <<<

(Ram Entertainment)

The simple search-for-lost-elephant plot of the first film was basically reused with a lousy attempt to overcomplicate the premise that created only embarrassing plot holes and unintentionally hilarious scenes. Thanks to the horribly digitalised and CGI sequences, this over-the-top action flick is far from gritty compared to Tony Jaa’s previous films. Read full review <<<

6. Grown Ups 2
(Sony Pictures Malaysia)

First, it was about a few old friends getting together with a meaningful purpose, and then there was this pointless sequel that’s about how fun their lives are turning out to be in idiot town. Who actually thought it’d be worthwhile watching a bunch of “grown ups” trying to learn how to burp, sneeze and fart subsequently? Adam fucking Sandler. The movie’s like a number of bad commercials merged into one film ’cause practically every scene ends abruptly with unintelligent sitcom-like one-liner jokes. Read full review <<<

5. Red 2
(GSC Movies)

Predictable, convenient and pointlessly dragged, it’s like as though the film’s produced for product/brand placements. If I laughed, it was only ’cause it’s funny to see these highly respected bunch of veteran celebrities trying so hard to make this piece of crap a little less boring. The random forced jokes in the movie have got to be unscripted and unplanned ’cause they can’t seriously be expecting adults to be amused with any of that. Read full review <<<

4. Beautiful Creatures
(GSC Movies)

Hate to say this but the first Twilight film is a way better production than this indecisively directed supernatural rom-com. Beautiful Creatures tries to cover most of the novel its based on but ended up vague and rushed, leaving behind many questions and plot holes. It has no pretty boy with powdered face or six packs but it tries to fool its target audience into thinking that “it’s smarter and less gay” than Twilight by featuring excessive teen comedy humour and focusing much lesser on the development of romance and chemistry between the two leads, resulting to the absence of emotional engagement as well. Read full review <<<

3. Runner, Runner
(20th Century Fox Malaysia)

The film turned out to be worse than what its trailers suggest, basically the lamer version of the film adaptation of 21 (2008). The plot is so unoriginal and corny that it can’t even possibly be a spoiler if I told you here that in the end, the protagonist gets the antagonist caught for his crimes and gets to live happily ever after with the chick. It’s amazing how this short, no-brainer, typical, twist-less, uninspiring script, that’s filled with stating-the-obvious dialogues and inconsistencies, was written by not one but two people with the film directed by another different person. Also, intensity of the characters and the situation is completely absent thanks to the cliched and cheesy acting performance of the entire cast. Read full review <<<

2. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
(UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)

Hollywood continues to rape our childhood as though the first film wasn’t bad enough. This time featuring none other than the director of the Justin Bieber and Step Up movies. G.I Joe: Retaliation is like a Mission: Impossible film with the plot and screenplay by the writers of Power Rangers. The action sequences are nothing spectacular and the flaws are just too noticeable. Read full review <<<

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1. The Host
(NEF – Nusantara Edaran Filem)

The easiest choice ever for worst film of the year. I enjoyed this more than Twilight… ’cause it’s way more unintentionally hilarious. The only thing the audience can learn from the movie is how girls struggle very hard inside to not be a complete slut. Read full review <<<

Dishonourable Mentions

(in no particular order)

Oz The Great and Powerful (Walt Disney Pictures Malaysia)
After Earth (Sony Pictures Malaysia)
Badges of Fury (Ram Entertainment)
Once Upon A Time (Ram Entertainment)
Homefront (Rainfilm)

Mama (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
Oblivion (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
47 Ronin (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
Man of Tai Chi (UIP – United International Pictures Malaysia)
Odd Thomas (NEF – Nusantara Edaran Filem)
Hummingbird (NEF – Nusantara Edaran Filem)
Free Birds (NEF – Nusantara Edaran Filem)
Kara King (Prodigee Media)
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (20th Century Fox Malaysia)
Turbo (20th Century Fox Malaysia)
The Hangover: Part III (Warner Bros. Pictures Malaysia)
Welcome to the Punch (GSC Movies)
Malavita (GSC Movies)
– Oldboy (Not released in Malaysia yet but I hate it already)

Widely bashed films that I didn’t bother catching

– Paranoia (Walt Disney Pictures Malaysia)
– The Smurfs 2 (Sony Pictures Malaysia)
– Battle of the Year (Sony Pictures Malaysia)
– Jack and Giant Slayer (Warner Bros. Pictures Malaysia)
– The Big Wedding (GSC Movies)

– Getaway (not released in Malaysia)
– Scary Movie 5 (not released in Malaysia)
– Movie 43 (not released in Malaysia)

View Top 10 Worst Films of 2012 <<<

Stay tuned as I will be posting up the Top 10 Best Films of 2013 one of these coming days.

Follow me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Google+ for updates to come to you.

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  1. slade winslow

    Your review of Paranormal Activity the Marked Ones is so off base it brings in question your credibility. When you have preconceived notions about a series you should not be reviewing these films. If you did not find humor then the hundreds in attendance at the screening I attended who laughed uproariously would strongly disagree. While I am not a Paranormal junkie and did not understand the relationships with prior episodes, the movie flowed smoothly from scene to scene and the characters especially the leading characters Jesse, Hector, Marisol, and the grandmother I found endearing. I was dragged to the movie but found it a pleasant surprise and unfortunately all you found were attractive girls that you wanted to see in sexual situations to curb your prurient interests. I can now understand why your review is so perverted. Fortunately the public and word of mouth will decide the fate of Paranormal Activity the Marked Ones in spite of the hatchet job you gave it.

    1. Post

      lol what credibility did I ever have to you? And since when did I care about the fate of the movie? Garbage films usually top the box office more often than better ones anyway. Oh, you haters and PR warriors are so predictable.

  2. slade winslow

    Colourless,I find your review of Paranormal Activity the Marked Ones highly colored. Since you express your utter distain for the series you should not be reviewing it. Your preconceived notions you have only re- confirmed through your rose colored glasses. That you found the film without humor was controverted by the hundreds in the audience laughing uproariously at the screening which I attended. While I am not a Paranormal junkie and was dragged to the movie I found the characters especially Jesse, Hector, Marisol and Grandma actually quite endearing. Your only saving grace was the attractive female cast which you would like to see in sexual situations to curb your prurient interests. It explains your perverted hatchet job on an overall entertaining film. I did not comprehend the prior relationships of some of the characters as I have not seen the prior episodes but my interest has been peaked. Fortunately the audiences and word of mouth will decide the ultimate fate of this film.

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